370 - The woman with derp eyes.

Aware of her condition, she kept asking me to look into her eyes while she talked, and I kept getting confused and dizzy because I didn't know which eye to look at.

The end.

Published on January 5th, 2012.

369 - Bubble bath.

Every time she got a little time for herself, she took a bubble bath to relax and think about her life; but all her relaxation and meditation POPPED as soon as her children got home.

The end.

Published on January 4th, 2012.

368 - The monarch butterfly.

It landed on my nose and spread its majestic butterfly wings over my face, without letting me see nothing else but the bright colours of it wings, transporting me to a world full of happiness.

The end.

Published on January 4th, 2012.

367 - The driver who was talking to himself.

A: Yesterday my car broke.
B: Hmm...
A: I think I need to replace the tyres.
B: Hmm...
A: I haven't wash the car in like two weeks.
B: Hmm...
A: And It's been two days since I last put it gas, and I still have half a tank.
B: I see...
A: ...

The end.

Published on January 2nd, 2012.

366 - The secret of surviving war.

After he came back from war and had survived gunshots wounds and the malaria, a reporter asked him what was his secret for having survived two years of war and such a terrible illness. Without saying a word, he pulled of his pocket a crumpled, stained and damaged picture of his beloved one.

The end.

Published on January 2nd, 2012.

365 - The goal.

After trying and working so hard, he finally reached his goal, and now he looked at his results very satisfied; but at the same time, he was already thinking about setting his next goal before this feeling of emptiness ruined his brief happiness.

The end.

Published on December 31St, 2011.

364 - Liar, liar.

He had told everyone so many lies about himself, that he didn't know who he really was anymore.

The end.

Published December 30th, 2011.

363 - The blockbuster movie.

"Really? You haven't seen it?"
"Nope."
"How could it be that you haven't seen it, I mean, everybody has seen it, in what planned to you live?"
"..."

The end.

Published on December 30th, 2011.

362 - Rainbow glitter.

After he overcame his depression, he always carried, as a precaution,  a bag of rainbow glitter in his pocket wherever he went, because he won't let his world to turn grey and monochromatic again.

The end.

Published on December 28th, 2011.

361 - The bad witch of the east.

The bad witch of the east was so powerful, that the only way to defeat her was that a miracle would  happen and that a house would fall upon her; thing which was impossible to happen.

The end.

Published on December 27th, 2011.

360 - Degrees.

"Honey, don't be alarmed, but the house is on fire, I made the oven exploit!"
"What?!!! How did you make the oven exploit?!!!"
"I don't know, I was pre-heating it to bake you a cake, so I set it up to 600 degrees, just like the cookbook said and then it blew!! I think our oven measures the heat in °C and not in °F, but I don't know!

The end.

Published on December 27th, 2011.

359 - Santa's hard work.

After a long night eating cookies and drinking warm milk while the elves did all the work, Santa claimed he needed a long vacation in the Caribbean because of all  the hard work  he did on Christmas night.

The end.

Published on December 25th, 2011.

358 - Santa is real!!!

The little boy set a hidden camera in the living room to catch Santa's doing when he was asleep during the Christmas night.

His father, who had help the boy set all the equipment of the hidden camera, had his red costume and his show ready for the night.

The end.

Published on December 24th, 2011.

357 - An eco-friendly Christmas.

In order to preserve the planet, they decided to buy an artificial pine tree they could use several years than cut a pine tree every year, but their attempts to preserve the planet failed as they used a pine scented air freshener every five minutes because they missed the smell of Christmas.

The end.

Published on December 24th, 2011.

356 - With a little patience and saliva...

Santa went down the chimney to deliver the gifts and coal to all the children in the world.

The end.

Published on December 22nd, 2011. 

355 - Christmas lights.

Before he went out, he thought about turning the Christmas lights off; but they looked so pretty that he changed his mind at the last moment and decided to left them on; and when he came back, he found that all his house were on... fire.

The end.

Published on December 21st, 2011.

354 - The slave.

He was so tired of working day and night, that he decided to hide himself in a box and told to his friend slave to wrap the box like if it were a present and sent it to a far far away place; but his plan failed when Santa found out what he had done, and as a punishment Santa transferred him from the wrapping section to the barn cleaning one.

The end.

Published on December 21st, 2011.

353 - Volcanic Christmas Indigestion.

Hours after the great Christmas dinner, you could her scream form the bathroom:

"It's coming out of me like lava!!!! like lava!!!"

The end. 

Published on December 19th, 2011.

352 - Letters to Santa.

Every year the postman laughed and made fun of the stupid wishes the kids wrote on their letters to Santa, and sometimes, when he felt like doing something evil, he would write them back and tell them the truth about Santa, and that he, the postman, used the letters they wrote to this fictional character to clean the poo of his cat.

The end.

Published on December 18th, 2011.

351 - The assistant.

The assistant was like ten thousand more efficient than his boss; but he would never be more than a simple assistant just because he wasn't the son of the CEO.

The end.

Published on December 18Th, 2011.

350 - Tiredness.

"Could you help me with..."
"Sorry, I can't, I'm too tired."
"TIRED? Tired? Tired of what??!!  if all you've done in the past few days is lay there doing nothing in the couch."
He, then, stood up from the couch really slowly and helped her, because he knew that if he answered her question saying that he was tired of living, it was going to be so much worse that carrying a few heavy boxes around.

The end.

Published on December 17th, 2011.

349 - A day later.

He always turned in his reports and informs a day later of the dead line, and when he gathered with his friends to tell them the fresher gossips, they had already heard them a day before.

The end.

Published on December 16Th, 2011.

348 - Under observation.

"Would you like another cup of tea, sir?"
...
"And you, my lady?"
...
"Hahaha, what a lovely evening!"

And from the little windown of the door where I was watching, I knew that this patient needed a higher dosis of her treatment, and also that she will be, at least, two more years locked in this mad house.

The end.

Published on December 14th, 2011.

347 - Narcissism

He woke up confused and with hangover, he had drunk so much last night that the only thing he remembered was he had had sex with the more handsome guy in the universe, then he looked to the other side of the bed and realized, horrified, that the other guy was his twin brother.

The end.

Published on December 13th, 2011.

346 - Insomnia.

It was 4:38 in the morning and he was still up, he hadn't been able to sleep in 36 hours, even though he had taken his sleeping pills, they weren't working; and I don't know if it was because he was tired, or desperate to fall asleep, but  he decided to take a dosis of his sleeping pills a little bit higher than the prescribed by his doctor, and he, finally, fell asleep... forever.

The end.

Published on December 12th, 2011.