500 - Days of summer.

She went out everyday to the park,
looking the best in her red summer dress,
she was bored of her daily life,
a summer love was what she desired,
to ride a bike, and walk around the beach
to stay up 'till sunrise talking shit,
to go to the movies holding hands,
to runaway a weekend unplanned,
Oh! Why her summer love took so long to arrive?
She asked herself very sad,
as autumn was about to arrive,
the time to have fun was running out,
the water of the beach was getting cold,
while she sat, on the park, waiting for her summer love.

The end.

Published on May 19th, 2012.

499 - In her period.

I'm never gonna understand women, the other day I went out with my girlfriend to have some ice-cream, and when I asked her if she wanted something, she said she would have just a bottle of water because she was on a diet; I, instead, bought a big ice-cream made for two.

While I ate my ice-cream, she looked at me smiling, and I kept asking her if she wanted some to taste it, but she said no; once I finished eating my ice-cream the woman started to cry and told me between sobs:

"How could you eat that big ice-cream for two without me?"

And she left the ice-cream shop running without saying anything else.

The end.

Published on May 18th, 2012.

498 - The Ku Klux Klan rats.

In the night, as soon as the scientists and researchers left the lab to go to their home to get some rest, the lab rats went out of their cages to hunt and burn the sewer rats alive.

The end.

Published on May 17th, 2012.

497 - Movies night.

7:00 pm Dramatic Movie: He proposed to his girlfriend and she rejected him confessing to him that she loved someone else.
8:30 pm Detective Movie: He gathered all the clues and found out that the other person his ex-girlfriend love was his best friend.
10:00 pm Action Movie: He searched for his best friend and when he found him they fought because he had betrayed him and stole his girlfriend.
11:30 pm Suspense Movie: When he got home, he thought someone had broken in, so he took his precautions.
1:00 am Comedy Movie: He found out that the people who was inside his house were his girlfriend, his best friend and all his family, who had played a prank on him and had gotten an engagement party ready.
2:30 am Porn Movie: ....

The end.

Published on May 16th, 2012.

496 - Bottom out.

When the big rock that was tied to his feet reached the bottom of the sea, he bottom out too and realized that the decision he had made was the easy way out to all his problems, yet, the hardest one; but by the time he realized this, it was too late for him because even if he was able to untie himself, he didn't have enough time to reach the surface.

His corpse hasn't been found yet, and it's still lying in the bottom of the sea.

The end.

Published on May 15th, 2012.

495 - After the pay rise.

When he got into his office, he noticed that his secretary didn't welcomed him with a hot cup of coffee over his desk, that she was always bad humored and that she had stopped doing her paperwork before going home.

It was always the same with his secretaries, he tried to help them by giving them a pay rise, and he always ended up firing them after that.

The end.

Published on May 15th,1012.

494 - Post-mortem shopping.

The Pharaoh, holding his rod on his hand, went out to downtown Egypt to buy all the things he would need to embellish his tomb.

The end.

Published on May 13th, 2012.

493 - The snowman.

The snowman was very worried about his weight, so he was waiting eagerly for the spring to come so he could lose all his overweight. As time passed and the temperature started to raise; the snowman became happy and happier to see himself thin and thinner; but it was not until the last day of winter that the snowman realized that his obsession with losing weight had killed him.

The only remains the snowman left were his topper, five buttons, two sticks and a rotten carrot that now served as fly food.

The end.

Published on May 12th, 2012.

492 - The donor.

When the effect of the anesthesia wore off and she woke up from the heart transplant she had just had; she was crazy to see her fiance.

"I'm sorry, but he's not here, and he will not be able to come to see you, he..."

And when she heard the nurse saying that words, she broke to tears, believing that her fiance had...

"Calm down! Calm down! It's not what you think! He's alive, the heart you're now carrying inside of you is not his, it is from a random man he killed so you could live; but the cops got him, and now he is jail."

And she outraged for the misbehavior of her fiance, never granted him a visit in jail, and she even felt relief about the fact that he was sentenced  to execution by electrocution for having committed the crime that had saved her life.

The end.

Published on May 11th, 2012.

491 - The butterfly with the golden wings.

There was once a upon a time a butterfly that even though she had the most beautiful colors on its wings, craved for having a shining and golden ones, so one day, she traveled from the Green Meadow where she lived to the Dark Woods where she could find a Witch Moth that was the only one who could make the Butterfly's dream come true of having golden wings.

When the Witch Moth saw the butterfly with her colorful and beautiful wings, the moth was fascinated and accepted to turn the wings of the butterfly into golden in exchange of all the colors her wings had.

Therefore, the butterfly gave the colors of her wings to the Witch Moth, who kept her word and turn the wings of the butterfly into golden; then, when the butterfly try to fly away back to her home, she realized that her new golden wings were too heavy for she to move them and fly with them, but she didn't care about it, because she had obtain what she wanted, so she just laid there, immobile, for the rest of her days admiring the beauty of her new golden wings.

The end.

Published on May 11th, 2012.

490 - Love in the hands of nature.

"He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me..." she kept on saying as she ripped off the petals of the flower she was holding in her hand  "... He loves me not."

And she sighed sadly as she took off her engagement ring from her finger and threw it into the garbage, she had thought that this time she had met the one.

The end.

Published on May 10th, 2012.

489 - The lonely black cat.

The lonely black cat spent all his life going from one town to another looking for a friend he could talk, play and share with; but wherever he went all the humans and other cats ran from him when they saw him coming because they didn't want to have a bad luck day.

One day, the lonely black cat found a weird human who offered him his friendship; he accepted this weird human friendship because after all the time he had been looking, he wasn't going to pass this opportunity that may be once in his nine live just because of  the weird appearance this human had with  his weird signs tattooed all over his body and his weird way of dressing with long blood-red robes that covered him.

After a few weeks, the lonely black cat and the human became friends, the human fed him, pet him, and played with him on his free time; the human made the lonely black cat very happy because that's what the animal had been looking for his entire life; but sadly the cat's happiness didn't last long, because on the first full moon since the cat and the human had become friends, the lonely black cat was brutally murder by his dear human friend in a satanic ritual.

The end.

Published on May 8th, 2012.

488 - The Gorilla's Dance

In the deepest part of the African woods, there was a gorilla who liked dancing ballet, but every time he put on his pink tutu and started to practice his ballet routine, his friends and relatives, instead of supporting him and help him get better, laughed at him and mocked him because he looked ridiculous wearing a pink tutu.

The gorilla, tired of all the laughing and mocking, decided to stop dancing ballet; but as the days passed on, he realized that his days had turned gray and boring without his ballet routine; so he searched for a place where he could practice his ballet without being watch nor disturb.

Time passed by, and the gorilla, whom practiced everyday his ballet routine, became the greatest ballet dancer ever, even better than any human being; but no one ever discover that he was the best ballet dancer on the planet, because he just dance in that place where no one could watch him nor disturbed him.

The end.

Published on May 7th, 2012.

487 - Black beard.

That terrible day, all the crew paid the price of the discovery his Captain had made; whom having found his first gray hair in his precious black beard, threw the slaved overboard, and made everyone work day and night unstoppable, just because he was afraid that that white hair strand could make him lose the respect he had won over the seven seas.

The end.

Published on May 6th, 2012.

486 - The tasteless stew.

The witch threw her spoon over her plate full of stew, complaining of his tastelessness, grown up man didn't taste as good as children did, nor their flesh was as soft as kid's flesh was neither... Oh! How the witch wished for a disobedient kid to get lost in her woods to have a decent dinner!

The end.

Published on May 5th, 2012.

485 - Fooled by his imagination.

He spent all the night awake, lying in his bed, hiding in his white sheets, feeling the movements and listening the snarls of the monster that was under his bed.

When the sun came out and he felt his warm light lit the room, he built enough courage to look under his bed, and to his surprise, he found nothing but dust and a few balls of lint that couldn't scare and hurt anyone.

The end.

Published on May 4th, 2012.

484 - A desperate move.

She put on her little red dress and her highest heels for going out for a walk on the  construction zone of the city. She needed to feel as a desired woman again, she needed to feel the lustful glares of men over her body and to hear them scream dirty things to her; and for a woman of her age, the construction man were the only ones who could make that happen.

The end.

Published on March 3rd, 2012.

483 - Two idle angels.

Two idle angels were laying over a cloud with nothing to do, so in order to have some fun, they took the aureole of a third angel that was passing by and started to play Frisbee with it, avoiding that the third angel who was crying and whining about his aureole could catch it.

Then, suddenly, the clouds turned dark and two lightnings fell upon the two angel that were playing Frisbee, burning  its wings and sending them straight to hell, where their white robes turned grey and were put to work day by day, hour by hour, unstopping, as Satan new slaves.

The end.

Published on May 2nd, 2012. 

482 - For her favorite fruit.

She loved apples so much, that even though she hated children and had little patience with them, she decided to become a teacher.

The end.

Published on May 1st, 2012.

481 - A victim of life & love.

When she had finally picked up and put together all her pieces of her broken heart, and had started to enjoy life again in her singleness, she met that tall dark man who snatched her recently fixed heart out of her hand.

When she started to love that man and to enjoy all the moments she spent with him, he broke her heart and left her alone with a thousand pieces of her broken heart scattered all over the floor, for her to pick them up a put them together again for the next man in line to break it.

The end.

Published on April 30th, 2012.

480 - The mystery of Toby's room.

When Mrs Walden stopped over the welcome mat of her house to open the door, she noticed that the door had been forced and that it was mid-open.

When she came in, Mrs Walden felt that her whole world had fallen apart, because her clean and perfect house was mess; so she, terrified, started to call for her son, Toby, while she checked out the rest of the house.

"Toby?!!" She called him, while she checked the kitchen and walked over the broken pieces of her Chinese tableware that were all over the floor.

"Toby?!!" She called him, while she checked the sitting room, and saw all her furniture teared and broken.

"Toby?!!" She called him, while she went upstairs, leaning herself against the wall, because the stairs were missing some steps and the railing had gone missing.

"Toby?! Are you here?!" She called him again, reaching the little boy's room; and when she laid her hand over the knob...

"Don't go in there, mommy!!!"

"TOBY!" Screamed Mrs Walden, turning back and finding his son standing in the middle of the corridor, all dirty and untidy, pointing straight to his room's door.

"Don't go in there, mommy" he kept saying while his mother ran to him to hug him and kiss him "Don't go in there..."

"Are you all right, darling? What happened here?" Asked Mrs Walden to her son.

"Don't go in there, mommy..."

"But, why, son? What's in there? Tell mommy."

"Don't go in there, mommy..."

Mrs Walden did not spend a second wondering what was inside Toby's room, and acting quickly, she grab her son, hopped into her car and drive away from that house, and to today's date, after fifteen years,  Mrs Walden can still hear Toby saying in his sleep "Don't go in there, mommy..." every time he has a nightmare.

The end.

Published on April 29th, 2012.