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The girl with the blue ribbon was crying and crying unstoppable, and even though everybody tried to calm her down, anybody could make her stop crying, because nobody knew that pink was the favorite color of that girl who couldn't stop crying.
"Hi! Excuse me, I came in because of the ad, is it true that you can predict the future?"
"Of course I can! Come in, here, have a sit, give me your hand, close your eyes and relax."
...
"Mmnnn, mmnnn, mmnnn..."
"So? Do you see anything?"
"Yes, I see money, I see money in your near future, lots of it, you'll handle a lot of money in the future"
And very excited for my future wealth, I gave the witch all the money I had on my pockets and went home to wait for the future to come.
Weeks later, I found a new job as a cashier on a very famous bank, the witch predicted my future well, but I had misunderstood it.
Sarah, a girl from the future, felt pity for the humans who had created her, because they were so unable of doing things and understanding the new technologies, that she found them annoying and hated them.
What Sarah liked, was to spend time with the other cyborg kids like her, which whom she could transferred music, photos, knowledge and thoughts just by connecting to them by a Bluetooth device, she had adapted into her body.
When I was a little boy I always imagined that having a beard and shaving it off would be fun, but now that I've grown up I realized how annoying it is to be an slave of the shaving foam; the same thing happened to me when I got my first job, when I got married, when I had children, and now I am wondering if it is going happen once I'm dead.
The alarm clock rang telling her that she must get up and go to work, but she turned it off throwing it a pillow and continued sleeping; and when she finally woke up, she didn't even took her PJs off and spent the the whole day eating ice cream and watching boring movies, tomorrow she will said to her boss that she had been sick.
The cows wear her best fur and walk glamorously on their way to the slaughterhouse, like if they were on the red carpet, even though they know very well where they are going, but they pretend to be mad, trying to save themselves just for being mad.
After she received the news about her infertility, she ran out of the hospital to the crowded street with tears running down her cheeks, and stood there, in the middle of the street, looking up to the sky and saying:
"All I want is a Little Boy, a Little Boy."
And minutes later, a Little Boy fell from the sky, granting her wish and destroying everything.
With his long tentacles, the Kraken, tried to defend his territory from the humans who were trying to invade it, so with his immeasurable strength he destroyed everything in his path, no one boat nor submarine survived the furious Kraken, and the only thing he left, was an a trace of blood in the stained ocean.
"I love you, squawk, I love you, squawk, squawk, I love you" repeated the parrot, deepening the intense pain his master was feeling.
When John was little, he had a very unusual pet, a cock, and it was reason why little John was always early in the school, and why he never missed a single episode of his favorite cartoon on a Saturday morning; but now that John is not little anymore, and he spent his Friday nights drinking alcohol, his cock vanished in the thin air.
There was a big red bottom which called everyone attention; nobody knew what would happen if that bottom was pushed, therefore all the crew secretly wished for the worst, so they could finally push the bottom; but when a terrible emergency happened, everybody panicked and forgot to push the bottom.
As soon as the alarm ringed and its red lights turned on, we all ran to the firetruck and headed to where the emergency was, we had been trained physically and mentally to face any type of dangerous situation; but despite of that I had a bad feeling about this mission, our first mission.
We arrived and found the house on fire, and the screams of the people trapped inside of it made us realize that the real world is so much harder than any train we could receive; but without any hesitation we brought down the doors and got in, it was hot inside and we felt the fire trying to hug us with its strong flame arms; therefore we had a mission to to accomplish, so we endured it and started to search for the people trapped in the fire.
We split into teams to find them faster, but I decided to go to the basement all by myself, there the hot was so intense that it clouded my mind for a second and I felt like I had forgotten something; but I kept looking without thinking about what it was I had forgotten; a few minutes later I had to stopped because my mind had clouded again, and I kept feeling like I had forgotten something, What was it that I had forgotten?.... Of course! The oxygen mask!
I had forgotten the oxygen mask, so I tried to go back to get it, but it was too late, the fire was dancing around me and was trying to seduce me and hug me with its warm flame arms, and since I didn't have any strength left to resist him, I closed my eyes and gave myself to him.
He set the table very calmly, and step by step put everything in the right place: the knife, the fork, the saw, the maul and a pair of scissors.
He, then, sat at the table, tied the napkin around his neck, smiled, and said to his victim, which was laying gagged upon the table:
"Don't look at me with those puppy eyes, 'coz they just make you look more delicious than you already look."
"I have never done drugs, and I will never do, I will not damage my own body with such bad substances" Said Sherlock Holmes to the interviewer, but it was all a lie, just like the tittle of the headline.
"Sergeant McClay, I'm so happy to see you again, what bring you here?"
"I'm sorry Colonel" Said the Sergeant with shaky voice "but you know better than anyone that my dream, since I joined the army, has been to rank all the way up to top"
"Of course I remember! You were one of the best boys I've trained, and look how far have you gone! you are a Sergeant now!"
"Yes, my Colonel, I am, and now they're giving an opportunity I cannot deny, oh my Colonel! I am so, so sorry! but they will make me a Colonel, just like you; but for they to do it so I have to do something terrible, my Colonel!"
"I am not following you Sergeant, explain yourself better, it's an order!"
"I'm so sorry my Colonel" Said the Sergeant with tears running down his cheeks "I'm truly sorry, this is not my intention, and you don't know how much sorry I am"
"Stop crying Sergeant! real men don't cry! stop crying and explain yourself!"
"I'm sorry my Colonel, I'm sorry"
***BAM***
The explorer was worried, he had never gone into the deepest part of the jungle before; but he kept on walking until he reached a clearance, and what he saw made him doubt of his own sanity, unicorns, hundreds of them, running fro and to, neighing and playing between them.
The explorer withdrawn his camera and took hundreds of photos of the unicorns, he could not believe what he was seeing, and came back in a rush to his lab to make the world know about his discovery; but when he saw the photos he had taken, he realized that his eyes and mind had played a trick on him, because there were no unicorns, but drunk horses with party hats celebrating a birthday party.
"If you want to, we can share a drink, when the meeting is over, to get to know each other better" whispered the man to the beautiful women sitting next him on the AA meeting.
"Let's go! This, we need to celebrate it with a couple of drinks"
And I, being the dumb-ass I am, followed him to the dirtiest and cheapest bar we found, I kept my word and only drank a couple of beers, but my friend, instead, well, I've already lost the count; I wanna go home, but this man just don't stop talking, he has more problems than a math book; what silly of me to think that we had come here to celebrate my triumph.
The cockroach was going to and fro, waving her ants in the air, dancing of happiness, the nuclear war had ended, so she could walk freely everywhere, because there were no humans left who could stomp over her.
I was watching my dear maid, Anita, clean the floor of my bedroom from my throne, she had been doing it for more than twenty minutes, and she hadn't move an inch from the same ceramic ware where she started, so I asked her:
Marie-Ann was a very intelligent girl, she was the first of her class who learned how to read and write, and she always showed signs that she had an above intelligence over the other kids of her same age.
Soon enough, Marie-Ann blessed intelligence became a curse, because she realized that she was above average people, so everyone looked stupid to her, and she started hating people and the world she was living on for that.
Therefore, Marie-Ann tried to figure out a way to destroy all the stupid average humans in this world, but since she was so intelligent, she realized that killing all the other humans was not necessary and that the solution of her problem was but the opposite to that.
And with a last "I hate every-one" Marie-Ann said good bye to this world.
He spent all day making his jar sound against the bars of his cell, singing his story in very sad songs, ordering his thoughts, and enjoying the solitude of his few remaining days of existence in this world.
Very carefully, she reached the shore and came out of the ocean to the land, she must have those two beautiful seashells for herself, for she could imagine how envy her sisters would be for not having such beautiful bras.
When the sun shone, the umbrella whined because it was too hot, and when it rained, the umbrella whined because she was getting wet.
In the middle of the river was floating an stick that was being carried away by the stream of water, and all the animals of the jungle who saw the stick, gathered in the shore of the river and tried to catch it, but no one reached it, because no one dared to get wet and jump into the river to catch it.
While I was eating an alphabet soup, I learned new words, so complex and interesting, that I would have never imagine such words existed, and now, when I talk, nobody seems to understand me, because they don't know the language of a well spoken person.
"You don't really love those humans you've created" said the Devil to God during lunch.
"Why do you say so? Do you forget that I was the one who created them? And let me remember you, that everything I create is perfect."
"I doubt it, because when you created them, you forgot something."
"And what was that that I forgot if I may know?" - asked God, worried because the Devil had found an imperfection in his creation.
"A self destruction bottom" answered the Devil.
God kept thinking for a moment what his great friend has just told him, until he realized the trick in it and he laughed ans said:
"Hahaha! Did you really believe that I was going to fall for that? You will never change, won't you? Hahaha!"
The Devil didn't answer and just shrugged his shoulder with a devilish smile on his face.
When the hungry fox was walking over the meadow and saw a burrow, his stomach rejoiced, because he would finally had something to eat; but the fox, instead of waiting for a rabbit to come out of the burrow to hunt it, he attacked the burrow and tried to bring it down, so as to get to where the rabbits live.
365 Microfictions, Flash Fictions, Micro-Stories and Short Stories written by Sir Helder Amos Copyright © 2011 -- Template created by O Pregador -- Powered by Blogger Templates
